"Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" (stylized in all lowercase) is a song by American singer-songwriter Olivia Rodrigo from her second studio album, Guts (2023). Rodrigo wrote the song with the album's producer, Dan Nigro. The song became available as the album's fifth track on September 8, 2023, when it was released by Geffen Records. A pop-punk, pop rock, alternative rock, garage punk, and emo song, "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" is about social anxiety and features Rodrigo recounting embarrassing experiences at a party.

Music critics praised the lyricism of "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" and found it relatable and funny, also commenting on the production. The song was nominated for Best Rock Song at the 66th Annual Grammy Awards, marking Rodrigo's first Grammy nomination in a rock category. It reached the top 25 in Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, and the United States and entered the charts in some other countries. Rodrigo performed "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and included it on the set list of her 2024 concert tour, the Guts World Tour.

Olivia Rodrigo's debut studio album, Sour (2021), was released in May 2021, following which she decided to take a break from songwriting for six months. She conceived the follow-up album, Guts (2023), at the age of 19, while experiencing "lots of confusion, mistakes, awkwardness & good old fashioned teen angst". Dan Nigro returned to produce every single track on it. They wrote over 100 songs, of which Rodrigo included the more rock-oriented tracks on the album because they drew a bigger reaction from her audiences during live shows.

Rodrigo explored lyrical themes like heartbreak, body image, and social and adolescent anxieties on Guts. Reflecting on this, she stated that a significant portion of the album details the confusion associated with transitioning into young adulthood, discovering one's identity, and deciding who to associate with; she thought this was a universal experience of emerging from disillusionment that many people faced. Rodrigo and Nigro wrote "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" early on in the creation process of Guts, among a set of gleeful and uptempo songs. Rodrigo was homeschooled as a teenager and missed out on a regular high school experience. The song draws inspiration from this.

Rodrigo announced the album title on June 26, 2023, and its lead single, "Vampire", was released four days later. On August 1, 2023, she revealed Guts's tracklist, which featured "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" as the fifth track. The song became available for digital download on the album, which was released on September 8, 2023. It drew a divided fan reaction, with some praising its relatability while others believed a lyric about Rodrigo accidentally liking gay men was insensitive and could be inferred as a reference to her ex-boyfriend Joshua Bassett. The following week, Chipotle Mexican Grill referenced the lyric in an Instagram caption, replacing the word "gay" with "guac": "Every guy I like is guac", to which Rodrigo responded positively.

"Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" is three minutes and 23 seconds long. It was recorded at Amusement Studios and East West Studios in Los Angeles. Nigro produced the song, and he engineered it with Sam Stewart, Sterling Laws, Dave Schiffman, and Jasmine Chen. He plays guitar, percussion, and drum programming; Erick Serna and Stewart play electric guitar; Ryan Linvill plays bass; and Laws plays drums. Spike Stent mixed the song at SLS Studios in London, and Randy Merrill mastered it.

"Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" is a pop-punk, pop rock, alternative rock, garage punk, and emo song. The Independent's Helen Brown described the song as "a solid wedge of American indie", and The Guardian's Alexis Petridis thought it had "a hint of grunge-era alt-rock". According to John Murphy of MusicOMH, it begins like a Weezer song, incorporating grungy guitars and quiet-loud dynamics. Rodrigo raps during the verses of "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl", vocalizing in a "bratty" way, and she delivers the chorus in a breathless manner without pausing. Writing for Paste, Rachel Saywitz believed that the brash changes in the song's vocal styling represent Rodrigo's knowledge of the lyrics' absurdity. She repeats the lyric "It's social suicide" and lilts the words "AH-ah's" during the post-chorus, which recalls bands like Everclear and Third Eye Blind and proves her affinity for 1990s alternative rock according to Billboard's Jason Lipshutz.

"Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" has lyrics about social anxiety and embarrassment caused by low self-esteem. In a monologue format, Rodrigo recounts her embarrassing experiences at a party the previous night akin to a personal journal entry. She takes a self-deprecating tone and uses dark humor to cope with her social issues. In the first verse, Rodrigo details feeling out of place and disconnected and hating her clothes. She recalls breaking a glass, stumbling, and telling people more than she should have at the party. Rodrigo considers these incidents "social suicide[s]" which make her want to hide herself. In the second verse, she remembers making online searches to learn how to start a conversation and accidentally flirting with an attractive gay man, which is followed by her admission that most men she is attracted to are homosexual: "Everything I do is tragic, every guy I like is gay." In the outro, Rodrigo sings about mistaking someone's mother for their wife and calling them by the wrong name. The Atlantic's Spencer Kornhaber compared the song's theme of social anxiety to 1990s teen films. Critics interpreted it as an expression of the social awkwardness Rodrigo experienced as a result of pursuing her acting career and being homeschooled.

Many critics viewed the lyricism of "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" as relatable. The Line of Best Fit's Matthew Kim thought the song was less of a well-calculated political critique and more resembled a "stream-of-consciousness journal entry", and Clash's Alex Berry believed the lyrics offer wisdom and comfort while maintaining the relatable and confused voice of a young person navigating the world. Though Lucas Martins of Beats Per Minute considered it excessively dramatic, he believed it showcased Rodrigo's skill of bringing a ballad's emotionality to a song without that type of production. Writing for Billboard Philippines, Gabriel Saulog thought the song's ability to evoke anxiety-inducing memories for many listeners showcased her skillful songwriting and ability to tell a compelling story through vivid imagery.

Some reviewers found the lyrics funny. The New Yorker's Amanda Petrusich considered it full of outstanding one-liners and among Rodrigo's best songs which depict her "clowning on herself". Sowing of Sputnikmusic believed the song seamlessly blends insightful comments with disarming humor, creating a satisfying emotional experience for the listener. Murphy thought its self-deprecating humor was underscored by a stream of anger and vulnerability beneath it. The line about Rodrigo liking gay men was included on GQ's list of the album's standout and "gutsiest" lyrics and Nylon's list of its most impeccable lyrics.

Some critics commented on the production choices on "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl". Petridis discussed the song amongst tracks that proved Guts had a harder sound than Sour, adding more live instrumentation while taking the latter as its starting point. The New York Times's Jon Caramanica believed it displayed how Rodrigo had not given into pressure to work with producers like Max Martin and pursued an intimate rock sound instead. Lipshutz thought the whole song embodied "a sense of sonic and lyrical purpose".

Rob Sheffield of Rolling Stone placed "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" at the bottom of his September 2023 ranking of Rodrigo's discography. He liked the song title's potential reference to Bob Dylan's song "Ballad of a Thin Man" (1965) but viewed the chorus as a let-down. Sheffield picked his favorite lyric: "I'm on the outside of the greatest inside joke." The Washington Post's Chris Richards ranked it as the eighth-best song of the year and a standout track on Guts. Among Rodrigo's six nominations at the 66th Annual Grammy Awards, "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" was nominated for Best Rock Song, marking her first appearance in a rock category.

"Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" debuted at number 24 on the US Billboard Hot 100 issued for September 23, 2023. In Canada, the song entered at number 25 on the Canadian Hot 100 issued for the same date and was certified gold by Music Canada. In the United Kingdom, it debuted at number 20 on the Official Audio Streaming Chart and Billboard. In Australia, "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" entered at number 22 and received a gold certification from the Australian Recording Industry Association. The song debuted at number 18 in New Zealand. It charted at number 21 on the Billboard Global 200. "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" also reached national record charts at number 17 in Ireland, number 51 in Portugal, and number 53 in Greece. The song received a gold certification in Brazil.

Rodrigo performed "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" live for the first time in an acoustic version at the Ace Hotel Los Angeles on October 9, 2023, in a concert exclusively for American Express cardholders. On October 24, she reprised the song on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. Six days later, American Songwriter's Cillea Houghton ranked it as Rodrigo's third-most energetic performance; she believed Rodrigo was expressive and embodied a rockstar, showcasing her evolution as a performer. "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl" was included as the second song on the set list of her 2024 concert tour, the Guts World Tour, between "Bad Idea Right?" (2023) and "Vampire". Rodrigo performs it with an all-female five-member band and two background singers in a silver two-piece outfit. Lynn Green of The Columbus Dispatch noted that the songs were extremely difficult to hear as the audience shouted them loudly, among which "Every guy I like is gay" was one of the most loudly screamed lyrics by fans. Rolling Stone's Tomás Mier believed they constituted a set which harkened back to Rodrigo's teenage years, and Consequence's Scoop Harrison called them a "one-two-three punch".

Credits are adapted from the liner notes of Guts.

Certifications for "Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl"

Region	Certification	Certified units/sales
Australia (ARIA)	Gold	35,000
Brazil (Pro-Música Brasil)	Gold	20,000
Canada (Music Canada)	Gold	40,000
Sales+streaming figures based on certification alone.