User:Can't Sleep, Clown Will Eat Me
Please feed the clown below and help yourself to anything in the fridge during this short recess.
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This is not an encyclopedia article. If you find this page on any site other than Wikipedia, you are viewing a mirror site. Be aware that the page may be outdated and that the user this page belongs to may have no personal affiliation with any site other than Wikipedia itself. The original page is located at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Can%27t_sleep,_clown_will_eat_me. |
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Lucky 6.9 03:17, 20 September 2006 (UTC)
Bahnstah
Well DoneI have seen your edits all over the place and seeing as you keep beating me to vandalism reversion; I think you deserve a barnstar:
Funny You Are - Awarded Barnstar of Good Humor
Nice userpage! You deserve this
For always beating me to the reverts!
AwardHey CSCWEM, I have something for you!!!!
!
Barnstar
Award
Thanks
USER NAME BARNSTAR
Oh noes, it's another award!
Overdue
Props to you
You know what...
Excellent userpage Barnstar
You're constantly on my watchpagein the edit summary of 'Reverted 1 edit by nn.nnn.nn.nnn identified as vandalism to last revision by Can't sleep, clown will eat me' and when I check the history I see that you reverted the previous vandalism. So:
The Barnstar of Diligence
Thankyou
In appreciation of all of the hard work you do
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clown around (+) |
Murela wants apologyHalf of me was reluctant to write this letter out of concern that Hon. Can't sleep the clown will eat me may be one of those people who say unprofessional things for the sole purpose of gaining attention. But given Can't sleep the clown will eat me's track record, I have concluded that one difference between his flunkies and other dark forces of anarchy and hatred is that the former intend to substitute breast-beating and schwarmerei for action and honest debate, so I've decided to proceed. It is worth noting at the outset that whenever Can't sleep the clown will eat me announces that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles, his companions applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that Can't sleep the clown will eat me spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his wisecracks while ignoring the fact that he wants to be the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet Can't sleep the clown will eat me is also a big proponent of a particularly shabby form of negativism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is that it's easy to tell if he's lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying. I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but Can't sleep the clown will eat me's frequent vacillating leads me to believe that he says that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie. If I had to choose the most cranky specimen from Can't sleep the clown will eat me's welter of surly gabble, it would have to be Can't sleep the clown will eat me's claim that this is the best of all possible worlds and that he is the best of all possible people. For those of you out there who don't know what I'm talking about, let me give you a quick explanation: Can't sleep the clown will eat me's suggestions form a vast brainwashing and brain-contaminating machine, which has worked, on the whole, with great efficiency. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to him. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that Can't sleep the clown will eat me says that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to create a Frankenstein's monster. If someone were to use terms of opprobrium such as "morally questionable vigilantes" and "obtuse blood-stained criminals" to castigate whomever Can't sleep the clown will eat me opposes, I'd rather it be an army of inimical televangelists than Can't sleep the clown will eat me because the latter is quixotic, while the former are only subhuman. He either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. Can't sleep the clown will eat me even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to batten on the credulity of the ignorant. It is apparent to me that it seems clear that we are becoming a nation of worthless, bilious mob bosses. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that Can't sleep the clown will eat me once tried to convince a bunch of us that materialism and cannibalism are identical concepts. Fortunately, calmer heads prevailed and a number of people informed the rest of the gang that I am not trying to save the world -- I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to solve the problems that are important to most people. Some people think it's a bit extreme of me to communicate and teach -- a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Can't sleep the clown will eat me spends his leisure time devising ever more muddleheaded ways to violate all the rules of decorum. Technically, Can't sleep the clown will eat me is totally mistaken if he believes that there should be publicly financed centers of barbarism. He is like a broken record, using the same tired cliches about family and education and safer streets, yet he is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. As someone who enjoys brandishing words like "incontrovertibleness" and "interdestructiveness" as a smoke screen to hide his flimflams' inherent paradoxes, Can't sleep the clown will eat me must indubitably be at a loss when someone presents a logical counterargument to his impractical rejoinders. His use of bestial pinheads is pathetic. Which brings me to my next criticism of Can't sleep the clown will eat me. I wish I could say this nicely but I don't have much tolerance for sappy bullies: He says that he can ignore rules, laws, and protocol without repercussion. But then he turns around and says that the future of the entire world rests in his hands. You know, you can't have it both ways, Can't sleep the clown will eat me. I am more than merely surprised by Can't sleep the clown will eat me's willingness to sell us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of factionalism. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, Can't sleep the clown will eat me has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. However, if Can't sleep the clown will eat me were to trick them into fixing their compass on the wrong star they'd soon be so off-course that they'd actually be willing to help him produce culturally degenerate films and tapes. He is on some sort of thesaurus-fueled rampage. Every sentence Can't sleep the clown will eat me writes is filled with needlessly long words like "roentgenographically" and "antiprestidigitation". Either he is deliberately trying to confuse us or else he's secretly scheming to squander irreplaceable national treasures. Some people don't seem to mind that Can't sleep the clown will eat me likes to persecute the innocent and let the guilty go unpunished. What a dissolute, destructive world we live in! If my memory serves me correctly, he truly believes that the moon is made of green cheese. I hope you realize that that's just a stultiloquent pipe dream from a biggety pipe and that in the real world, Can't sleep the clown will eat me wants you to believe that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by Can't sleep the clown will eat me's ignominious reinterpretations of historic events. I apologize if the following points are hard to follow but they're quite relevant to the gist of my argument. First, the cliches of Can't sleep the clown will eat me's orations are well-known to us all. And second, money is not the solution to our Can't sleep the clown will eat me problem. All of this means, of course, that there is an unpleasant fact, painful to the tender-minded, that one can deduce from the laws of nature. This fact is also conclusively established by direct observation. It is a fact so obvious that rational people have always known it and no one doubted it until Can't sleep the clown will eat me and his admirers started trying to deny it. The fact to which I am referring states that Can't sleep the clown will eat me should shift for himself. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me begin the debate about Can't sleep the clown will eat me's squibs. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because given the very real threat of Can't sleep the clown will eat me preventing me from sleeping soundly at night it is essential that we put his predatory, unstable smear tactics out to pasture. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. Spleeny bloodsuckers are sharply focused on an immediate goal: to abet a resurgence of pushy voyeurism. Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue. In public, Can't sleep the clown will eat me vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, Can't sleep the clown will eat me never fails to impugn the patriotism of his opponents. A final word: Hon. Can't sleep the clown will eat me is filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, and maliciousness. Murela wants an apology.
A rope walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender looks at him and replies, "We don't serve ropes here!" The rope walks outside, ties himself into a knot, messes up his hair, and walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey! Aren't you that rope that was just in here?" The rope turns to the bartender and says, "No, I'm a frayed knot!" A clown was standing in a kitchen, holding a can of frozen orange juice, staring at it intently. His friend saw this and asked why. The clown answered, "The can says, ‘Concentrate’" Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" "Nah. Cannibal Corpse wouldn't think twice about it", replied the other cannibal. One clown got a job at a circus telling bad jokes like this one, while another clown (his brother) got hired at a watch factory. Since then all they've ever done is made faces. |
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I got an account just to give some gingerbread to you, for having the patience to correct me when I kept adding personal sites and missing the rule against them. Osachan 23:10, 16 August 2007 (UTC)     If the clown ignores labor exploitation in the chocolate industry he is being his bad & evil clownish self. Fed the clown a live vandal. Two birds with one stone! Ninja! 23:54, 30 March 2007 (UTC) The clown might feel the need to chow on down on a microwave oven to prove the theory "microwave food" is bad for us :-) - Bennyboyz3000 06:29, 15 March 2007 (UTC) Feed the clown children The clown may want to eat a Dragon. Warning! The dragon may try and eat him.      
I have fed the clown custard pie. MMMMMMM. --Pupster21 17:38, 1 December 2006 (UTC) And later we'll all play the cheese shop game. CambridgeBayWeather (Talk) 04:58, 2 May 2006 (UTC) That Beef Stroganhoff is just awesome beyond words, thank you. 8-) Can't sleep, clown will eat me 05:30, 16 April 2006 (UTC) Cheers to all-night vandal-whacking. _-M P-_ 09:28, 31 March 2006 (UTC) ive orderd in some marmot tartare Benon 18:30, 13 February 2006 (UTC)
I've just popped in for a byte or two. Mmmm, crunchy. Anotherpongo 13:04, 31 August 2006 (UTC)
 Did you like my chocolate? | AndonicO 13:54, 5 December 2006 (UTC) ? May be this will cause for an indigestion.
  A Raider Like Indiana 18:12, 9 March 2007 (UTC) 
  Djf2014 15:15, 26 January 2007 (UTC)            WHAAAAA!! The clown will eat me too! *shivers* o..oo..ok clown, um.. here's a yummy.. um..um..um..Chocolate Bunny! Yeah, that's it, a chocolate bunny! Ryan 13:26, 16 April 2007 (UTC)    
  
   Will some carbonated beef work for you? Even though I have none?... Two One Six Five Five ʃ 20:12, 10 February 2008 (UTC)             |
other insomniacs (+) | ||||||||||||
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Yeah! A year later and you are still giving me nightmare. A mod no less! Arrrggghhhhh!!! __earth 07:13, 13 June 2007 (UTC) Beware of the penguin. He has heavily armed friends. :-) Random Passer-by 21:28, 15 January 2007 (UTC) Query: Is this perchance the clown that could have possibly eaten Bart, or the clown from Poltergeist that was being parodied? They both make me scared; I can't sleep now. Tim Sailor 02:09, 16 November 2006 (UTC) Four months later and you're still giving me nightmares. __earth 16:47, 18 May 2006 (UTC) As long as I keep on editing Wikipedia, the demons of the night cannot catch me... (The demons have been vanquished!--Josh 01:31, 16 May 2006 (UTC)) K-UNIT 04:50, 5 April 2006 (UTC) Can't sleep!!!! The person that is in danger of being eaten by the clown will eat me!!!!--Adam
I am The top :p Your username makes me smile! HeyNow10029 20:29, 15 February 2006 (UTC) Looks Like I'm on top now, Windy ;-) --Goatrider 07:19, 12 February 2006 (UTC)
ok --Theone3 10:38, 4 January 2006 (UTC) Shan't. So there. Morwen - Talk 10:39, 4 January 2006 (UTC) You are giving me a nightmare. __earth 02:04, 5 January 2006 (UTC) I just changed the emote to make it seem more of a polite plee not to vandalise. You look cuter that way Anonymous Contributor 11:16, 9 January 2006 You have the best username ever. —Ilyanep (Talk) 05:01, 8 January 2006 (UTC) Idem Federico Pistono ✆ ✍ 00:31, 9 January 2006 (UTC) Nomen omen est. :) Jamyskis Whisper, Contribs Fooooooooood! *glomp* Jellyfisho 13:37, 19 January 2006 (UTC) Clowns eat food too
Hmmm Chicken - Mike Beckham 08:40, 23 January 2006 (UTC) LOL --Zzzzzzus 11:58, 23 January 2006 (UTC)zzzzzzus YUCK Brownies - Mike Beckham 00:10, 27 January 2006 (UTC) A single statement meant to be funny by itself--Theloniouszen 08:11, 27 January 2006 (UTC) mm ill take some of the marmot tarte please, with a large dollop of ketchupBenon 09:26, 1 February 2006 (UTC) whats in and alcholic?Benon 17:48, 1 February 2006 (UTC) omg how can we have a piza without the anchoviesBenon 09:44, 3 February 2006 (UTC) Dude, there's a golden bunny in your fridge (not that there's anything wrong with that)! No Guru 16:36, 8 February 2006 (UTC) I'm sleepy Danny Lilithborne 09:37, 5 February 2006 (UTC) Mmmmmm, insomnia...... *gargle* Kntrabssi 05:32, 3 March 2006 (UTC) Hmmm, all the food is good. I'm not an insomniac per se, but I like to stay up late, and we are oten on RC patrol at the same time during recent nights in the past few weeks. It can be pretty entertaining. One vandal kept adding nonsense about Chuck Norris to varoius articles, and I had no idea who he was before, so I was inspired to look at his article. Anyway, I like to eat snacks like candy, chips and pretzels when editing Wikipedia at night. Academic Challenger 09:51, 7 February 2006 (UTC) I can never get to sleep at night. My mind is restless. Interesting name, by the way--Acebrock 06:29, 6 March 2006 (UTC) Iron helps us play! -- Samir ∙ What's your favorite planet? Mines the sun. – ClockworkSoul 05:47, 13 March 2006 (UTC) I wish I knew how to sleep. --Scaife Need......appetizah! Man...sleep would be a good thing too. Kukini 07:32, 22 March 2006 (UTC) You add depth and meaning to the wikipedia experience...but make sure not to be exposed to over-illumination, a cause of circadian rhythm distrubance. Anlace 15:09, 25 March 2006 (UTC) Can't sleep, waste of time. Considering Uberman schedule. Expect to crash for 16 hours straight 2 days in. ZoFreX 04:10, 7 April 2006 (UTC) Can't sleep, vandal will eat me. :) Algebra 16:42, 7 April 2006 (UTC) Vandals can't sleep! Can't sleep, clown will eat me will eat them. Keep it up! -- Szvest 12:59, 10 April 2006 (UTC) Hmm... you know, it's 3 A.M. somewhere... Matt Yeager ♫ (Talk?) 23:35, 11 April 2006 (UTC) The Federated States of Imnsonia... pop. 156 million and growing... Buchanan-Hermit™..SCREAM!!!.. Ummm ... why don't you just say 'no'? Kaimiddleton 05:10, 24 April 2006 (UTC) Let a wimple cancel ten owls. Well, cancel a wet simpleton. Ten cetaceans will mop well. A sceptical Ellen won't mewl. Cleduc 02:22, 27 April 2006 (UTC) Clowns don't eat all of you silly. They eat you like fried chicken!!!-Gangsta-Easter-Bunny 12:16, 6 May 2006 (UTC) Though you can't sleep because of a clown, you are the doom-bringer for vandals! Funnybunny (/Counter Vandalism Unit) 03:49, 27 May 2006 (UTC) Hey, thanks for protecting my favorite articles against vandalism. And, to keep you awake whilst looking for vandals, here is another clown picture, and one of my favorites. : ) Madman 17:11, 31 August 2006 (UTC) Wow, a lot of insomnimaniacs. ;) I didn't sleep very much at all last night (or the night before, but at least then I stayed in bed), so I got up at about half past midnight. Now I know that sleep is a good thing. :P —$ΡЯΙNGεrαgђ (-¢|ε|Ŀ|T|♫-) 19:38, 8 September 2006 (UTC) Well, I slept like a charm. A little bothered by my big red nose, as usual, but tonight I didn't have trouble digesting that fat kid.--SidiLemine 09:03, 11 October 2006 (UTC) I used to have dreams about a scary clown (seriously), but now I don't sleep, so it's no longer a problem.--The Great Llama "You gotta believe me, Mandy! Clowns are nothing but ultimate EVIL!!! They want to become the dominant species on the planet-and they'll DESTROY US ALL TO MAKE IT HAPPEN! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!!" Link 486 Can't sleep... must eat I'm actually nocternal, does that still count? Dfrg.msc 07:09, 4 December 2006 (UTC) Your name inspires to new heights of random acts of zaniness. Sethie 23:08, 6 January 2007 (UTC) I am very much a night person, yes. Tonight though, it is partially caused by me being sick and not feeling like sleeping, while not particularly wanting to be awake either. Grandmasterka 10:19, 8 January 2007 (UTC) I think I'm naturally nocturnal too... if left to my own devices I tend to go to bed when it's getting light. Unfortunately university doesn't mix well with being nocturnal! --Deskana (For Great Justice!) 11:00, 8 January 2007 (UTC) Haven't you figured out? We're already in a giant clown. The whole universe is. I'm frightened particularly by the prospect that a large blob of gastric ooze may dissolve the planet. Any second now... --queso man 03:19, 28 January 2007 (UTC)
Well, clowns are supposed to be funny and entertaining to people of all ages. A clown is not a cannibal. So you don't have to worry about it. King Lopez 10:48, 2 February 2007 (UTC) 
You are da bomb! TNTfan101 02:15, 18 March 2007 (UTC)
Hi ; ) just passing by to say it amused me to see you revert the vandal "speedy deletion" edit in Corky. The same guy succeeded in having my (good) translation of the article deleted hours after I wrote it – with the same reason given in German (and the responsible admin refuses to restore it). Your action makes me take this with ease, since you are an admin yourself. Best wishes, Regenspaziergang 23:25, 28 June 2007 (UTC) btw. 01:25 am here ^^ You truly have changed my life. Shikyo3 15:57, 13 July 2007 (UTC) I had a depressingly fun revelation of which you should be aware: I know nothing about you, but I realized we strangely share something in common: our love of children. I honestly don't know how many of your 6-month school blocks of repeatedly "innocent" children I've had to get extended when they expire and the little, ermm, "rascals," show up again to make our lives interesting. I can't sleep-- kids will vandalize me. Heh, anyway, keep up the great work and cheers. :) --slakr 16:47, 13 July 2007 (UTC) Your page rocks! Singyouranthem 12:13, 2 August 2007 (UTC) A clown tried to eat me when I was five years old. I tried kicking it, but it wouldn't stop biting my leg :( --Shroopliss 01:38, 2 October 2007 (UTC) You're certainly not alone in your fear of clowns or coulrophobia: I can't stand clowns, can't even say why because I've never had any clowns threaten me. I never even heard of John Wayne Gasey until adulthood.. "It" scared the crap out of me though.. had nightmares for weeks. LOL Love the page, love the name, love the episode of The Simpsons you got it from, great job! --Simpsons fan 66 06:11, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
What you have heard is true. Why just last night I fell asleep and not a moment later I was eaten. --Nealparr 09:59, 17 January 2008 (UTC) They haunt me in my dreams... esp. the goth-ish clowns. However, coulophobia (sp?) is not a big problem I suffer from. My parents think its stupid. Though I avoid them on the Fourth of July... they are definitely freakish. --Éowyn of Rohan | Talk (MWB) 18:13, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
You are truly great. Probably the most unique user on wiki but the most loved as well. You have a history that is treasured resulting in millions of users knowing you and admiring what you do including me. It is sad that i was not on to vote for your RFA because i wanted to show my support just like everyone else. Well so long from me. Roadrunnerz45 (talk) 08:49, 19 April 2008 (UTC) |
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