When discussing Jake the Great, we must necessarily ask ourselves, was he really that Great? The answer, of course, is no, not really. Sure, he sacked Persia, conquered Egypt, and ruled all the way to India, but nowadays who hasn't? Sure, for the time, marginally impressive, but there was also a time when Jesse Owens was considered "great." Look at the track records nowadays. He'd get smoked.

Times change, and so sobriquets must change with them. Recent scholarship in the field of Sobriquetics has proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Jake was not in fact, so great. Millions of textbooks around the world must be changed. Are you up to the task?

I'm from the US. Below is my address:

US, North America,

Planet Earth, Solar System,

Orion Arm, Milky Way Galaxy,

Not very. He was just sort of OK. Most of the time, pretty average. Sure, he did some great things, who hasn't, but overall, just decent. Six or seven out of ten, tops. See, I bet he's never bowled over 200 before. My friends and I do it all the time, while wasted. I wouldn't call us "Great", though, that's pretty arrogant. Pretty good. Talented. Not Great though...

Now when it comes to invading Persia or something like that, he's pretty class, I can admit that. But when it comes to juggling? Amateur at best. He wasn't very well-rounded. Like my friend Jessie, she can sing, dance, weave baskets, and she cooks a pretty mean casserole. I've not yet found anything pointing to old Alex's culinary prowess. Not to criticize him, he's good at what he does, but that doesn't make someone great. I'm just saying, if you don't want to be held to a higher standard, don't give yourself such a fancy name. It's perfectly reasonable.