Among other things, I categorize myself as:

• Father
• Husband
• New York Giants fan
• New Jersey native (I never knew how much I loved Taylor ham until it wasn't easy to get)
• Resident of Maryland
• Former Blogger
• Sudoku addict (in recovery)
• Afflicted with photoptarmosis
• Not afflicted with an irrational fear of my enemy's fake Vietnamese soup, aka FoeFauxPhởPhobia

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Don't be a dick.

Thinly sliced cabbage.