Wikipedia:User Somebody "Notme" Else
Somebody Else is always here to assist fellow Wikipedians, especially the gefingerpoken newcomers, never ever biting them. He tirelessly writes new articles, de-stubs stubs, adds reliable sources (formatting them with eyes closed), wikifies the unwikifiable, overlinks the underlinked, and categorizes the uncategorized. His special food is Special:NewPagesFeed (alphabet soup to needy he giveth). By the way, he is about 8.5–16% she, but she works on it.
User:Somebody "Not me" Else has numerous socks: User:Someone Out There, User:Somebody There, and User:Y'all Over There, to name a few. Their sole purpose is benign: duly declared MPD beats Wikipediholism.
Someone Out There is a proud bearer of the rights of administrator. He is always here to close yet another AfD discussion and he always has a few hours to summarize a complicated consensus about a particularly murky application of a Wikipedia policy; WP:CCC does not bother him at all. He regularly peruses WP:AN, deeply and thoroughly delving into the essence of each and every dispute. Every morning, he scrupulously checks the permission requests and endows the worthy ones with new status flags. He is lightning fast to roll vandalism back, to block those who are not here yet. He is always speedy to speedy delete; to prod and deprod, to tag and untag.
User:Somebody There has WP:CLEAN, WP:PM, and WP:RM, category:Wikipedia cleanup and all their subcategories on his watchlist and never allows them to overflow.
Over time even the most experienced Wikipedians begin to rely on Somebody Out There. After all, Someone Out There is always online and with a hand to lend.